Opposites Attract: What Are You Learning?

I wanted to sit down and cry. I wanted to throw a tantrum. I suppose in some ways through the words I chose that is just what I did, back when I was angry. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes life gives a hint as to WHY a certain situation happens to us and other times life does not.

For example: My Sophmore year in college I had a roommate who was the complete opposite of me. (Matter of fact I have always had roommates that were the opposite of me now that I think about it.)


She was into hip hop music and rap. I was into pop and rock. She dressed with a unique hip hop flair and I dressed in whatever I could find in my closet. She was white and I was brown. And many people thought it was strange that we were even roommates to begin with. They would say that she was more "black than I was" and I was "more white" than she was. Of course, I just laughed these things off. Because in reality there is no such thing.

But in us being opposites I learned a lot about her. I grew from the advice she shared. You would have thought that I would shy away from someone who is the complete opposite of me, but she actually became what I would call a "close friend." She was the only one that could be honest with me about any situations that I found myself in, to which I didn't think I could get out of. She never sugarcoated anything to save my feelings.




I have talked about our friendship before, because I find it to be a true blessing. Even now I can call her up and say "hey I need to talk" and she will be like "whats wrong strumpet monkey?" And we will laugh and go on from there. That is the other thing as well. She was the only person during that time (and probably even now) who I didn't have to be "nice" to (so to speak). We would call eachother names in a playful manner. That is just how we got along. 

We always were joking around. There were some people who asked "Are yall really mad at eachother?" And I would respond "nope, shes just a strumpet monkey." They would just look at me and walk away. And that was ok. As long as my roommate knew that I wasnt mad at her, that's all that mattered to me.

When her mother passed away, that's when I made the connection. I had already lost my mother. My roommate listened but she could never identify with how I felt. But she she never gave up on being there for me when I needed her. There were days when I didn't want to go to class because I was going throuh one of my, what I like to call "waves."


This is where I'm just plan ol' sad about missing my mom.
 All I want to do is just go to sleep all day. Its not full blown depression though. She wouldn't let me stay sad. She was strong enough to not only keep up her day, but also helped me get mine started too.

I believe that GOD had us meet for a reason.

When she lost her mother, many people told her that it would be "ok" and that they were "sorry" but they couldn't identify with her pain the way that I could and that's when I made the connection. That is when GOD called me to rise up and be the warrior. To fight. To be strong for the her and I the way that she had when I was going through one of my "waves."

It was a rough time. She needed people around her that could help her along. She needed to hear the truth, but she also needed what I would like to call STRONG LOVE, its soft enough to catch you, but it just hard enough to keep you focused on reality.

Sometimes when situations occur that we have no control over we start to blame ourselves. We think that there is something that we could have done, "if only..." we did this or said that. I was fully aware that my roommate could fall into that downward spiral so I made sure that I did all I could to HELP her understand the emotions that she was feeling, but not shield her from them. Her loss is apart of her life. It is apart of her world. They were close the way my mother and I were. But she and I both learned that we are not defined by our loss. We can still live. We can still smile and laugh. We can still love, because this is what our  mothers would have wanted us to do.

I knew that she would be all right, when she decided to take sociology club on the walk for Lupus. That was her way of giving back to her mother. That was her way of dealing and understanding what she was going through.

I always knew that she was strong, but that day I saw a true Warrior Angel in the flesh. Her wings gleaming with confidence. Her sword and shield in her hand ready to battle the next obstacle.

She may have cried. But one would ever have known. In her being there at the event, with her close friends she was telling life "I will survive this." She encouraged me to step up to the plate and be a STRONG FEMALE. And for that I will always love her and be thankful that we had the opportunity to be friends.