The truth is, I don't want to associate myself with people who are negative (The world is shitty enough). People who complain because they can't get a new car. When the car they have is working just fine. People who whine when they can't buy new shoes. You have a pair to walk in that is all that matters.
I use to be a real "material girl." I wanted to have the best of everything. I thought the world owed it to me, seeing as though I had a rough childhood. So I actively sought it. Only to find the world owes me nothing. And that there are people in this world who are worse off than I am.
Anyway, I wanted everyone to think that I was pretty. I didn't want the popularity so much. But I wanted the attention. I wanted people to bow. To treat me like royalty. But the reality of the situation would end up being that, that was all they would care about. What my hair looked like. What my clothes looked like. Did I match? etc. I realized early on that those people could never CARE about ME. If I died tomorrow, they wouldn't even think twice because my life would mean nothing beyond all the clothes, makeup and jewlery, to them.
Just another pretty face. "Oh well" They would say. And keep on living.
So I had to change.
For me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have been told that I am not being "realistic" when it comes to my dreams and or goals. But they said it as if I didn't know what the term meant. That upset me.
This all has to do with being passionate of course. As, I have said before I am a passionate person. I get excited about music. I get excited about travelling. I get excited when I meet cool people who I can vibe with and or learn something from. I get excited about life. But somehow over a short time, my passionate spirit as convinced some people that I am not "realistic" enough.
Hmmmmm?
Then on the other hand when I am "Too logical" "Too analytical" "Too realistic" I have suddenly transformed into a negative person.
Lets break this down:
There is a difference between being realistic and being negative. In my mind when I am entering into the first I view all possible outcomes. Sometimes the two go hand in hand, but it depends on how you define each term.
For example: The idea is to go to graduate school after this last semester.
But to be realistic, I know there is a chance that I may not get in for the spring term. So I would have to apply again during the fall. Since I know that, that is a possibility I can go ahead and make other plans just in case that one doesn't work out. In other words I'm not putting all my "eggs in one basket."
But some people would say that is negative thinking.
If I were being NEGATIVE about the situation I would say and or think thoughts that were not to my benefit as in: "Oh, i can't get through graduate school. Its too hard. I don't think I will go. I don't even want to go..."
In other words constantly doubt and worrying about something that ultimately I have no control over. I can apply. If I get accepted wonderful. If not, then I can just apply again later. But to sit around and cry and stomp my feet if I don't get in would be wasting my time. And doing so would not change the outcome.
So, mainly I think that people should just worry about fixing themselves first, before they start trying to preach to me about what I believe. This is just not limited to people my own age, of course. Yes, you are older than I am based off a number system. And yes, you have more "life experience" than I do. But you don't know it all. There are still many lessons in life that you have to learn as well. And looking down on me because I BELIEVE that I am more secure in MY SKIN than I have ever been, is not going to HELP YOU, re-establish any confidence that you may have lost in the years that you spent calling anyone younger than you "naive" or looking down upon them because they viewed things in a different way than you.
I'm sorry that you are old(er) and miserable with your life, but don't take it out on me just because you made poor choices. There is still a chance for you to make your life better. You are in control of that. I know what makes me happy in life. Do you?
~ "realistic."
No comments:
Post a Comment