The Other Side To Me

I wish that the men I meet could see the other side to me. The more realistic. The more logical side. I once spoke to a man who told me that he liked me more when I was logical. When I was realistic. And in the back of my head I thought, "how strange I'm like that all the time."

I'm realistic and logical at work.
I'm logical and realistic at school.
When I go to the store.
When I go to the bank.
When I take care of business.


So why should have to be that way when I'm trying to get to know a man that I'm interested in dating? What is this a business transaction? I suppose, at the time, to them it was.
I honestly believe that in general, in the dating world of now, people don't take enough time to get to know the other person. They say hi. They check mark in their head if they are attracted to the person or not and then they either jump into giving all they have got or taking all they can get. And then that's it. My mystery. No 21 questions. No adventure. No struggle. And magically when the struggle does come or when they get placed in a situation that is unfavorable they have no clue how interact with their partner about it.


I'm no saint when it comes to giving my all too soon and that's why I can talk about this so freely.
There were situations where the guy would say that I was "too immature" or "naive."
There were situations where the guy would say that I wasn't serious enough or that I played around too much.
And in all those experiences I thought to myself "if only they really took the time to get to know me."
You never really know someone until you have been through every situation that could possibly happen to man. So why make a judgement about someone too prematurely? If, you believe in soul mates at all or at least really compatible matches you could have just walked out on someone that was really good for you all the way around, but because you chose not to wait and get to know "all" of them. You now missed out. And once you are gone, you don't get to come back.


I do believe in second chances, but only when the guy is deserving of one. I say this now, because I have been in one too many incidents where the guy was abusive all the way around. And still, either me just being really in love or me actually believing that he just had a good heart but a bad day, I would give them a second chance only to find that they had a bad heart and good days. There days were good because they knew they had control over me at the time.


Then I thought to myself... that any man who says "I wish you were more..." like something else doesn't really want to be with all of the real you. They just want to be with different parts of what they like about you. The guy in the example, like the realistic side more instead of the emotional side. Most of the guys that talk to me, do but if I start to like them or show more care than they want from me, then I'm automatically "naive" "too clingy" or "too dramatic."


I know that deep down inside that at the core of it all, most guys like anyone want to love and be loved. They can deny it all day long but when the rain hits the window and all their friends are cuddling on the couch in their homes with their significant others... they may not express it verbally but they are wishing for someone that they can hold and love too.

For most of them, I am that woman that they can hold and love and I will return the love, but they never wait to find out all sides to me before they make the conclusion that I am not "the one" or that they do not "love me." How do you know that you don't love me? You don't even know anything about me. They have killed any opportunity before even letting the opportunity come to life. And well, its sad. So much potential. But you can't make someone love you. Even though sometimes I wish that you could.