Why Do You...

Date White Guys???????????????

I get asked this question a lot. And mostly I never really have an answer. Even now there is not one particular main reason. All I can say is that I just like dating white men.

I have been called everything under the sun pretty much. But never a flat out racist. OH! I'm racist because you got it into your mind that I wouldn't give any man that isn't white a chance huh?

Well, I guess you need to clean out your skull. Because I never said anything like that.

I simply said "I prefer to date white men."


I don't think me being attracted to white men really was an issue until I stepped into college. In high school I hung out with a pretty mixed crowd, but even then there was always pressure for me to date black guys from the main girls that I would hang out with. And whenever I would mention a white guy that I liked my "friends" would always turn up their noses and have negative things to say. Sometimes they would go so far as to convince me that there was something wrong with me.

I remember that a few of my friends sat around discussing why they thought I liked "white boys more than black boys." I just sat back and listened. I found it all fascinating. That 1. they would put this much energy into ME, knowing very well that I would not change my mind. And 2. That they thought that by talking about it or whatever I would somehow "see the light."

I guess the main thing that stuck out to me was "why do you like white guys if they never treat you right? Everytime you date a white guy he always breaks your heart and makes you feel bad about yourself" etc

And they were right. But being white had nothing to do with it. It was about timing, compatibility, maturity and attraction. Neither of which we were really aware of nor focused on at the time. All we were thinking about is "we need boyfriends."

But what they failed to realize was that I did date a couple of black guys but it never really worked out because I knew that I was not attracted to them. It didn't have anything to do with them being black. It had everything to do with one having a child (which I don't talk to any guy purple, pink, yellow or green who has kids but that's another story) and the other just not being on the same level as I was. He was trying too hard to mold me into this "hip hop princess." or something.

But the flip side to all of that is that I dated white guys who really connected with the hip hop style. They wanted so much to be "down." To be in with the "brothas." They talked slang. They walked with their pants sagging around their bottoms. They wore clothes that were 3 sizes too big. They wanted so much to be "thugs" and "gangsters." But these were boys who felt they had something to prove. And they thought, that because I was darker than they were (by skin tone) that I would be able to identify with the hip hop lifestyle.

But shocking surprise. I do not. I never have.

Some of my black friends think that I'm trying to be better than them by dating white men.

Some of them think that I betrayed my race or whatever.

Some just thought it was strange because they knew their parents would never approve.

Others didn't care either way. These were the people that I really enjoyed being around.

When I think about it now. Its all very silly. But althought we (as a society) have come very far there are still people who refuse to move with the changing tide, so to speak and well those are the ones that will just get left behind if they don't realize that the world is changing. And "change" well, she doesn't stop for anyone.