More Than Just a Pretty Face

I almost believed that it was impossible for any man to acknowledge me. Some might find that strange for me to type, but its true. What I mean is, that I didn't believe that a man could recognize that I am more than just a pretty face. That I'm a woman full of passion for life, ready to learn and love.


The more I step into the world, the more deceit I see. I would like to think that everyone starts out being good. But the more I talk to people. The more I go through life, well that's just not the case sometimes.


I never met a confident man, until now. A man that can look me in the eye and  tell me the truth. A man that doesn't hide behind silence because he is too much of a coward to face reality. I must be lucid dreaming, right? 


I push so much for honesty. When most people are just not like me. I don't have any problem with telling the truth about how I feel about a situation. I want the other person to know where I stand, because I know what its like to be on the other side. Not knowing what to think. Your brain twisting and turning. Your heart beating extra fast. Losing sleep. Being late for class or work. When all the other party had to do was tell the truth. One answer to make everything clear.


I make it my best effort to never walkaway from anyone with a bad attitude or with a "dark cloud" over our friendship. I don't know what could happen to them. That time maybe the last time I get to see them. So, I want to make sure that we are left on good terms and also with a pleasant memory for us to carry. 


I have looked into many eyes and seen nothing but pain and despair. What I wanted most for them was to know peace. A peace of mind is the best defense (this is what I'm learning) for battling in this world. Of course, not every experience you have, you will have to fight. But for the friendships, relationships with substance, well those should be the first ones that you fight for. 


I don't know much about life just yet, but I do know that things change when you find peace in your heart. The whole purpose for fighting in the first place was because I wanted to know if it was possible that a man could care for my heart, protect and in general appreciate it.


But I'm aware that nothing good happens over night. 


But I would like to find out just how much joy I can give and receive within the next few months. 


I am happiest when I get to make others happy. That is just how I am. And some would say that being that way is draining and I will receive any benefit from it. But I do. But only from someone who realizes that they indeed do deserve the gift that I am sharing.


My heart.