The "Loser" Mentality. Both sides.

The term "loser" is one that I use often. It is not because I aim to be cruel. It encompasses many types of people. I can use this term because I use to have the loser mentality. I have always had potential to be successful (by my standard of success) but I never put much effort into accomplishing my goals or really trying at anything because I was too afraid to fail.


The dating world is one of the worst places to be, especially nowadays. It is that young men are eager for immediate gratification. They don't know how to wait. And young woman are eager to please, they don' t know how to say "no." It seems that when a guy comes into their lives they either make or break their self-esteem. That should never be the case. A man should never have power over a woman, to the point where her entire world is made up of nothing but what he wants and what he likes. The same goes for a man too.


I will say that you can be a loser but not have the loser mentality. The other side is that you can have the loser mentality but not be a loser. Let me explain.


Here are two examples of a loser:


A loser is a man who mistreats women, because maybe he was hurt in the past. He takes out his anger on new girlfriends because he wants someone to blame for his misery when the only person that he should blame is himself for staying in an unhealthy relationship to begin with.


A loser is a woman who sleeps with her bestfriends' husband because she is sad, pathetic and has low self-esteem so much to the point that she would force herself on him. I know that it takes two to tango. He should have been strong enough to say NO, in this situation he would have the loser mentality. Why? Because if she was not there to tempt him, then he would not have slept with her. But, this does not make him a loser (unless this is not the first time he has cheated on his wife). 


Here are two examples of a person with the loser mentality:


A man with the loser mentality knows that he has the ability to do so much more with his life. He knows that he is intelligent. Yet, he wastes his life smoking pot and hanging out with so called "friends" that are only going to keep him in that mediocre state. He wants to be a better man (for himself) but he makes no effort to do so. He has a caring heart. He is kind and respectful to other people. He is aware that other people matter in this world and because he is not a "selfish" man, he simply has the loser mentality but he is not a loser. 


A woman who stays with a man knowing that they are in two different worlds has the loser mentality. She knows that she will never be happy with him. She also knows that they are in two different places, but she is a kind person and does not want to hurt him. So she stays so she can spare him the pain, even though she is suffering.  She is settling. But she is not a happy woman within herself because of the choice she made. The right thing for her to do would be to let him go, so that she can be with a man who is on her level and he can be with a woman that can appreciate where he is at that point in his life. 


I don't believe that neither one of these types of people are "BAD" people. They can be. The experiences I have had so far as ones where the person is really kind but we are in two different places in life. It is mostly about timing as I have said many times before. It is also about maturity. At this time in my life, I'm at a place where I'm a little bit more serious about my life. I will be graduating in December. I have to think about my future and what is best for me. If I met a friend who was happy to work at McDonald's and smoke weed all day then sure they might be a really nice person, but there would be no point in us being friends because we are in two different places in life.