September 11

I remember that I was in health class when we stopped class to turn on the TV to watch what was happening. I didn't really understand what was going on at the time. My mind was somewhere else, but when I saw how deeply the scenes on the screen affected a few of my classmates I knew that something was majorly wrong. 
Some students were sent home. I remember one student had to go to the restroom because they started to vomit. 


I just watched the TV and listened to the sobs, shocks and whispers around me.


Today I had the opportunity to sing in memory of the all the people who risked their lives to help during that awful situation. It was hot outside. There were bugs flying in my face, but even still I wanted to be there. I almost gave up the opportunity so that I could spend time doing something else. But I'm glad I made the choice to go. 


The two words that I took from the main speech was: Adversity and Resilience. Those two words seems to affect me the most when they were said. I applied them to my own life and saw that I had very much of one and very little of the other. I always thought if I could just make it through another day. That if I could be a better person, change one one thing about myself entirely that life would start to go my way...


But its not the qualities that are holding me back, but the memories. I have too many. Some are good. And some are bad. But the ones that are exceptionally good are the ones that really hurt me the most.
These memories include the ones with my friends and family too back in my old life. Back when I use to feel connected to someone and or something greater than myself. 


I always aim to keep good ties between me and other people, but especially when bad things happen like on that day. Tragedies like that really make me want to step up and say "Please lets stop this bickering and nonsense, we never know when it will be our turn to leave this earth." I say similar things like that just about every day but sometimes it is hard to practice what you preach. In other words you never really wake up and see what you have always taken for granted until it is gone. Until you can no longer physically see it and until you can no longer consistently not appreciate it anymore. 


I don't think that most people gave much thought to the towers or until much of anything until they fell. It seemed as if people were walking along oblivious to the world around them then out of nowhere there is a change in their daily scenery. Then people started to wake up, but they didn't really know what to do once they were exposed to the truth of the situation. 


Anyway during this event...


I thought about my cousin and uncle and my friend who are all overseas. I kept thinking that "I really hope they are all right." and "I wish they were here with me right now" so I wouldn't have to worry about if they were okay or not. 


But like a lot of people that experienced that traumatic event, who were there right next to it and witnessed it with their own eyes... I would like to think that most have taken control of their lives by now and moved forward. So, sure they remember and they might even shed a few tears for loved ones that they lost, but I hope that they don't dwell on who and what is gone.


In the end it will be all right. We just have to keep trying our best.