The Efforts of a Rising Star

The best advice that he was given was: “Don’t stop no matter what from my AMAZING friend Joy!”

At thirteen years old Rashawn Leary from Poughkeepsie, NY an up and coming intricate lyricist wrote his first song, with big aspirations and looking to rise to the top quickly, he’s a force to consider. Don’t sleep, because he’s ready to take over!  

The first time anyone ever heard his work was when he was with his family in the car. His gift for writing music is a natural one. His first performance was 5 years ago at a nightclub at Above and Beyond  in Raleigh NC.  

He hasn’t written for any popular Artists yet, but if he could he would write for Sam Smith and John Legend. He likes the way their voices flow and sound. His favorite genre would be more of like a combination of R&B and pop so he calls it “BOP”

      

This young man is multi-faceted. He owns a business. He considers himself an international toast master.  He can rap, sing, model, act, writes comics and little books.

 If he could change one thing about the music industry it would be the talent scouts who find some of the new talent. A lot of new music today literally has no meaning in his opinion and is done to promote the wrong things, but in his good humor he says “guess in reality to each their own!”

He believes that his Vocal range, Vocal tempo and his natural tenacity to accomplish projects are his strengths.

In the next five years he hopefully sees himself performing at more venues, traveling a lot more and also writing for amazing ARTISTS.

He’s in a line up for a major film that he and the executive director will be shooting in October and they are looking for actors and anyone who wants to lend a hand on the crew!

His fans and followers can get in touch with him through: 

Instagram-@electin 

Facebook-@electin Lect

Twitter-@electin

Snapchat-@electin

YouTube-@tyreece50 

Start All Over: A Brand New Life For Me

I hate NC. I'm so ready to move away from here. 

I'm ready to have a new life. I'm ready to erase this life and start completely over with a new set of cards. 

At a young age, I knew that once my mother passed away that my life was going to be hard. That I was going to get all the messed up cards. 

I'm not really sure what God wants me to do with my life at this point. I feel like I have done everything I could possible do to get my foot in the door to success, but each time I think I'm about to go forward another door slams in my face. Another rejection. Another no!

People don't understand that attached to this door slamming is one of the biggest factors. I don't have a strong support team. I thought I could build one quickly, but as soon as I started getting serious about my walk with Christ most of the people who supported my vision disappeared. But such is the life of a lone wolf... I guess.

I had a nervous break down today, because I drove all the way around town to get to an interview an hour early in the hot ass sun, only to have the owner interview me then tell me that I need training when I have been in hostessing for five years or more. 

He didn't care that my car is fucked up and that I can't fix it. He didn't care that I used my last bit of case to get to that interview. He didn't care that my tires were bad and my car was basically falling a part. All he wanted me to do was do what he said or else I would not have the job. 

Raleigh has nothing for me. I need to move somewhere else. I need to go somewhere, where I can start all over. Be someone completely new. Where I can be and feel appreciated. 

The other part is that not having parents plays a big role too. 
I'm the only grandchild that doesn't have any parent to just help me. I keep asking for help and people look at me like I'm crazy. Like it is strange for me to even think about asking...

I don't know why my life is like this... I'm so tempted to say fuck it all. But I can't because everything that I do is connected to God. My heart beat is connected to God. I know too much about God and what God expects to turn around or to turn my back or to walk away from his truth, peace and unconditional love. 

I never thought that having a walk with Christ would be glamorous but I didn't think it would be like this. All I want to do is get out of this hole. I want to get into a two bedroom house with two bathrooms. I want a new car, mustang and I want a job. That's all. I'm not asking for anything crazy or too hard. People receive things everyday but then when it comes to me. I always get the short end of the stick. 

No one ever pays attention to the poor old wise woman, until they hit their head and get their head busted open. 

No one cares about quality, until they get tired of listening to that crap they call music nowadays. That noise with a beat to it. 

I'm so sick of this life. I want a new one. 

Dedicated Woman of GOD: Chynadahl Malandie

Before you read this you need to know that we all fall short of the glory of God. That no human on this planet is perfect. But that God can clean up anyone for his glory. 

This entry really should go into the other blog, but this young woman has played such an important role(s) in my life that I felt it necessary to speak on it here. On the front. 

I really don't deserve to be shown such kindness, nor love because I am imperfect and I have many flaws myself which I am asking God to clean me up from. But even with me knowing that, I am still loved. 

I was never the best at public speaking, so if you Woman of God are reading this know that I love you very much and that I am very thankful and grateful that God gave you the patience and the love to deal with me. 

Reminders for the Next Great Adventure!!!!! (Pictures!)

The things and the people that I encountered, the situations that I found myself in were all unexpected.  I had a lot of fun. I wish that I would have been more adventurous. But I think in the end it all worked out as it should have.

There are some things that I want to address, as reminders. I am mainly writing this for myself, so that the next time I go out of town I will remember these things. But since this is public I hope that something that I have written is able to help you next time you travel.

Let's get started....

1. Bring extra cash.

(I did not know that you had to pay for one of your bags to be loaded on the bus. It is 15 dollars for each extra bag. Thank God that the lady wasn't hateful and mean or else I would still be stuck at the bus station with my bag lol)

2. Use a rolling travelling suitcase with a handle.

See, I thought that I would have someone to help me carry my stuff wherever I went. I also thought that the bag was not as heavy as it was. It was a field day trying to get that big suitcase all over town. The only reason why it was extra heavy is because it had my laptop in it.

The next time I travel I'm going to make it very easy on myself and on my back and just roll everything around behind me.

3. Heels are for sitting, Flats are walking

If you walk around in heels in the city your poor little toesies are going to hurt, so make sure to bring flats.

4. Don't be afraid to ask for directions

You will save a lot more time if you just walk up to someone and ask them if they know where such and such place is versus you trying to look for it yourself.

5. I didn't know it was going to get that HOT in DC, but when I was there it was hot and so I will never walk anywhere without bringing a bottle of water. OH! MY GOSH! lol

6. Also don't buy anything or do anything that you can also do back home. I spent so much money on drinks when I went out. That I forgot that I was just visiting. I did try some different kind of fruity drinks, but I can always try that being in NC for way cheaper lol

I was so happy to finally get a chance to leave NC. I needed to regroup. I needed a break and God certainly looked out for me.



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mr. Patient Honesty (Boxing Ring of Intelligence)

I met a man who had a gift to melt the ice around this heart. He had a cool confidence and his patience was incredibly strong, but gentle towards me. I could not believe that he was a real person.

My "intelligence" was on full alert!

Sarcasm and raw truth shot out like daggers...

The more I said, the more he absorbed. Every off handed comment, every sarcastic note, every indifferent glare and for the first time I thought that maybe "God" had sent someone who was strong enough to match me. Strong enough to be my friend. Strong enough to stand by my side on this battlefield that many don't realize but called: Life.

He was respectful. He listened to me speak. He opened my doors. But most importantly I felt safe in his arms. I knew that if any man tried to grab on me (as most men unapologetically do...) he would protect me.

He asked me "why are you so mean?"

I replied: "I don't know..."

In his embrace I felt the ice around my heart melt. When my voice was raised. When I acted indifferent. When I was mean. When I was sarcastic. He was patient. It was as if he knew how to counter my every "attack..."

Why does my "intelligence" naturally go into attack mode?

For protection of my heart.

Too many times in the past I shared my heart with the wrong guy. They appeared to be nice. They wanted to be close. They wanted my attention. They wanted my affection...

I have learned that even now, men still like the "cat and mouse" game. They still like to do the chasing....

The second I started to give back. I started to become aware that they liked me a lot. The second I started to show them how much I appreciated them. The moment I started to give, that's when the tables turned and instead of appreciating my giving heart... they only took what I was giving. I was so happy to meet a man that accepted my kind heart. But once they found out that I was a "giver" that's all they expected me to do. Then they stopped being givers. I thought that in order to guarantee that they would be "faithful" and "committed" to me that I had to keep giving...

But little did I know at the time, that it was all apart of a game. That's how I know that men are selfish creatures. Also, that's how I know that men are not stupid though... he read the pattern that I gave out. The more I give the more, he took, the more he would pretend. Then one day, they decide that they want more... and because I didn't have any self-worth I fought tooth and nail; drove myself half bald-headed just to try to accommodate his desires... only to find that none of what I did mattered. Because he left anyway and the woman he met after me, not only was he head over heels in love with and extremely devoted too, he also married her.

Now they have a family together and live happily ever after.

Situations like that happened more than once in my short time on this earth, as a matter of fact, they take up about 80 percent of my life. Why? Because in my old life I was desperate to find a distraction from my pain. I was so desperate to find someone who could understand all parts of me, the giver (the kind side), the scientist (the intelligent side) etc

So I told myself never again would I allow a man to degrade my self-worth. Never again would I let a man get that close to me...

I fought hard to keep him away. But even as I fought I could feel myself trusting this man, who was so patient and had a cool confidence more and more...

Even when it was time for him to go home (we spent a good bit of the evening together from about 8pm to 2am). There was something that was strong in us. You know that knot in the stomach feeling? The butterflies? Well those feelings were strong. In the midst of the situation I was trying to analyze everything, when I should have been enjoying my time with this random awesome man. Its so rare that I meet a man that I can truly say is awesome. Not awesome because he has money, wears nice clothes or has travelled... but awesome because I respect the little bit that I did know about him.

I don't think much of men these days. Matter of fact most of them could go jump into a pool of sharks and I wouldn't think much of it. Most are lazy, selfish and just take up precious oxygen for those of us that really want to use our brains to live fully functioning positive lives....

But like with most situations I knew that he would lost interest or disappear. It has been a pattern in my life ever since I started dating. Also I knew that once my heart was softened (which has been a very long time since I felt that...) that I would want more of that feeling of "safety..." I wanted to know more about this man that had the ability to soften my heart with just a simple sentence and a hug. I wanted to learn everything about him. My heart was so happy to meet a man who had the patience, the confidence etc to handle my "aggressive" side. So, I thought that we could be friends.
But in my logic I knew that we were "moving" too fast. I picked up on that way before when he and I were at a bar, and as we were leaving he walked out and saw me talking to another guy and he got upset. I thought it was strange, because he just met me, so why was he getting upset?

But I understood that in that moment he liked me more than he felt comfortable wanting to admit. When I got home and reflected on our awesome "hang out session" together. I liked him more than I was comfortable admitting. I wanted him to come back and hang out, but then he got "busy..."

And such is the story of my life...

Meet an awesome guy once in a blue moon, then he disappears or gets "busy." I sent him texts, he would text me back. But then my logic kicked in, "what's the point in having a man in my life who doesn't want to get to know me or help me in some kind of way?"
I sent one last text. He never responded.

And that was the end of that....

My intelligence went back to test, as now I'm programmed to do. I test and test and test until men do either one of two things:

1. disappear

2. challenge me back

3. Ask me why I'm still testing him?

Most just disappear. I told him that I can't associate with anyone that is weak in their heart, mind, or spirit. I need to be with a man who is strong enough to handle me through the good and the bad times... I mean, I even had to cut out friends, friends that I have known since middle school because they were too weak to handle my raw honesty.

He said that it was too soon for all of that... which I understood. But at this point in my life "too soon" is not even an option, because I could die tomorrow. So I want to make sure that the people I associate with care about my life.

The last time I went to the doctor they told me that I had a weak heart and that too much stress or pressure could give me a heart-attack, even in my early 20's. I almost died before when I gave a man a piece of my heart that all he did was step on. And ever since that time I have kept a wall around my heart....

I'm like a rose with thorns. I'm beautiful to look at, but no one can get close to me because I'll prick them. I don't mean to. At the core I'm a sweet person. But any man who wants to get close to me puts me on alert. Most men just want to hurt me, beat me down, degrade me, stomp the strength in my heart.... and mold me into the type of woman that they want me to be.

I never met a man who just wanted to protect me, until I met him... But it was nice to "rest" from having to fight for those few hours. But like I knew, he wasn't strong enough to stay in my life... so now I have to go back to protecting my heart using my God-given intelligence and strength.

 

 

But, at least I was reminded that there are men out there who still appreciate loving hearts like mine... maybe that's all I will get throughout my life. I would like to be in a relationship one day, but men just aren't strong enough to handle me.... and if they can't handle me at my worst, then they don't deserve me at my most loving.

But I'm praying I'll meet a man who will care about me even on my most unruly and "ugly" moments... *sigh* been single for awhile. But its not because I haven't tried. Its just because they(men) have been too sacred to step into the boxing ring of intelligence with me and prove to me that they are strong enough to handle me.

Inside (((Screaming))) Out

I write, because if I don't I'm afraid that my head might explode off my body or even worse that I might pop a few blood vessels and die from massive blood loss. Either way I could die if I don't write.

I don't do a lot of talking in real life because when I do people just look at me like I'm a three eyed, ten toed monster with sharp razor teeth and a loud howl that could pierce the heart of the mightiest of men. Yeah, people think I'm a "monster..." but only because I think too much (so they say, at least I can think for myself) and because I love too strongly (at least I know how to love).

Church Anniversary: The Power of GOD (Family Meeting)

Yesterday February 9th 2013 my church, The First Biblican Church of Deliverance open our house so that another church New Covenant could have their 12th anniversary celebration there. 

The event was powerful! The little church that normally only has about 5-20 members was packed. We really had to get comfortable with one another. There were so many people that a couple of the men from security had to set up fold out chairs on the sides of the pews. It was the: "overflow." 

The service lasted from 7pm to almost 12am.  

I was not bothered by the length of the service. I was in awe at her confidence in God, and power. 

She speaks with authority. She speaks and mountains move to the side. It was remarkable! Liberating! She moved the audience! She allowed her body to be a vessel that God could speak through. She definitely is a warrior for Gods Love and a Gladiator for Christ. In her speaking she was gentle but firm about everything that she preached. It didn't really feel like an event, but more like a "FAMILY MEETING." 

This was not the first time that I heard her preach. This was my second time and both times my jaw was on the floor! Many of the things that she said I think about and  post on my facebook. 
One example: The floods, the tornadoes, the earthquakes (etc) those are all signs that God is cleaning up the world. Especially that Hurricane that hit NY not too long ago, that was a clear sign that God is cleaning up NY. How often do you hear of  NY being flooded out???????????? exactly! 

2013: Year To Experiment (part 1)

This year I made up my mind to branch out of my comfort zone and try some new things. I'm not saying anything too dramatic, like try a new drug or anything (I can't mess with that type of stuff anyway. I have to keep my body clean because my body is a temple that I want Jesus Christ to "dwell" in (so to speak)). 

Try new things like: 

Get some of my poetry published. 

Audition for another musical. 

I was in one in college (an original production) and it turned out really well. There were three performance nights. The house was pretty much packed. I was surprised that I had the strength to stick with it despite the drama that I was going through at the time with my ex and his "housekeeper." 

But such is life... I'm in a completely new phase. Although, it hasn't been the easiest of phases to step into. 

One of the things that I'm going to focus on is strengthening my walk with Christ. I was already strong before. The strange thing was that it was my strength that men tried to tear down (now instead of tear it down they try to manipulate and control it...) Also, I found that my strength didn't last. So, now I rely on the strength of God to help me get through. 

In saying that I ran across a book that I found quite interesting and very fitting for this phase...